getting an LED tan

So I spent the entire day on my laptop, not coloring in Photoshop, like I normally would be(i can kick butt in Photoshop, and am hoping to be able to work at the library, teaching people how to use computer programs), but working on my final class lab for 8 hours and then editing audio in Audacity. I am so excited to have learned how to use Audacity today. (Now just for Blender and MewaFilm and I will know a lot more than I do). But I also learned today that I still have quite a bit of self-confidence to gain.Because I am still acting my quiet self in the computer lab.In my heart, I really just want to be a nerd, but I can never be truly accepted, for I do not like videogames (excepting katamari and poke'mon), programming is only a limited fun and i am not actually all that bright. I like photoshop, mixed media artwork and audacity. . . and dreaming.(oh no, the tiny house got smashed since I have last been here, how very sad) And I have a terrible headache, bad me.(also my obsession with poke'mon is more than i will ever admit to anyone, even now I am still terribly disappointed that poke'mon do not actually exist, so i can never be a poke'mon trainer)

hmmmm

Lots of things happening, or rather not (at least today). A major problem I have encountered lately is trying to find both server space and a domain name. I have read p on it, but that hasn't helped the fact that I have no money. But I suppose it is not crucial, as I still do not know flash actionscript, though I hope by the end of the semester that will be remedied. When I finally do find some, i will have a freakishly awesome web site. But still, the money dilemma.. .

In January:

Since the month of my last post, I have:
learned a great portion of HTML
learned middling CSS
learned Javascript (only a little bit, it is still difficult for me)
learned basics of how to use Linux systems
am a great deal better in figure drawing
learned a great deal about events and ideas in 1-2 kings, Job, Psalms
read at least a dozen books and even more short stories
learning about scared geometry, which is fascinating
started the idea/got materials for a series of cute little thread and paper images
resolved to start on an idea that has been rattling around in my brain for months, if I buckle down, I think I can get this done by next fall
met several very cute boys and have initiated conversations with them


learned the basics of pixel art and have done some little images
realized that I am basically going to college to become an odd sort of web artist and realized that that is exactly what i want to do with my life
Dressed as a pirate several times, just because i wanted to
received praise from my figure drawing teacher
went to at least six lectures about art, four on religion and one on global warming
became driven to learn things on my own
wanted to work on something great with my siblings, to make something to make us come together, because I know we can do something great as a family

I do not say these things to brag, but as a confirmation that for all the things I did not do last month, i still got a great deal accomplished and should be happy in that fact.

Start of class thoughts

For this semester of classes, I did not want a repeat of last semester, where I felt physically ill from the workload, which i lay plainly and gleefully at the feet of CS 142, an intro to programming course of 4 credits, but actually took over 20 hours of my week. But my hopes and wishes were dashed at the first class in which the professor announced that the workload would be the same as that despised class. But I get to develop my own web site, from idea to code to site. I am actually really excited. And by accidentally taking it in conjunction with a HTML/CSS class (I thought it was writing for the web, cause that is what the name was), i will have enough knowledge to strike out on my own and widen the unending horizons of the virtual frontier.
My drawing class, however seems just as difficult, if not more so, as i spent the 3 hours in class debating the meanings of words, truth and the meaning of art until I was about to collapse and beyond that. He is a strange man, picky, harsh but he is dedicated not only to making art but learning about the philosophy and meanings of and inside art. And all of this thinking, debating caused me to volunteer to sign my name in blood if that is what it took to learn the meaning of art, despite the responsibility of that knowledge. And strangely, it gives me comfort, because if the professor actually did ask for my signature one day, I would give it to him, and everything else he is asking us to sacrifice(such as ballpoint pens and twenty-five dollars for a compasses) seems meaningless. And it is meaningless beside the fact of becoming a person who has mastered art. I do not want to be a person who makes work that is nice or pretty, I want to make things that cause people to be filled with wonder, that cause them to think. I want to change the world with my art, and so resenting these small sacrifices is petty.And I would have never discovered this without going to such extremes.

You may think that signing is blood is weird and somewhat ominous or evil. Perhaps, but it was only a symbol of how far that we were going to go to learn. I believe he just wanted to weed out people who were not dedicated, as he spent the time not arguing with the students, telling us that he was a mean, crotchety, terrible old professor. (And the whole time I was wondering, does he still get paid if no one goes to his classes? Cause that would make sense)