Deseret Promo 1

During 2009-2010, I was drawing a lot of and thinking a lot about monsters, but subconsciously only drawing a specific kind of monster in a specific place. They don't live in the poetical sense; they exist hour to hour, staring at the red sun as it makes rounds near the horizon or staring at the shadows at their feet. The lucky ones wander in circles or cry for the things they have lost. It is a particular kind of hell that my subconscious has created for them. Also, there are bunnies, bunnies with one long claw that they use to cut up flesh into bite-size bunny pieces.

Monsters

Monsters are not just terrifying mixtures of animals and humans that want to destroy you, they are also intangible struggles, temptations and weaknesses. The monster that chases me is depression. Not just struggling with the sickness itself (which is hard enough) but with my false beliefs associated with it. Namely, my severe disappointment in myself when it causes me to change my plans and activities-mainly I have been struggling with falling asleep at a reasonable time and then sleeping through my classes. I want to pass them, I need to get good grades so I don't get on probation but somehow, I am not doing what I really wish to do. It is my monster. I want to kill it, to drive it away from my life with any means possible. But it is difficult to get anything done when the hours that you can do anything are from 7 pm-4 am. And the more I sleep the more I feel unwell and the more I sleep. It is awful.

Art Project

I started an art project that is a metaphorical view that a person with depression might have. I am very excited about it, as it is the first full-scale project that is gallery-worthy that I have done. I am hesitant about whether the singular pieces might be, but i am going to develop them more; but the concept and the cumulative effect is definitely worthy.
The concept is that depress changes a person's point of view so that the world becomes a frightening place full of monsters. Or rather, monsters were used in medieval times to represent various aspects of the human condition; death, trials, temptations and the like-so i am going to use them to represent depression, also in the medieval woodcut style. Also, an FYI, not that i will talk about this in the project, but in my experience, people with depression come to love the idea of monsters, because they feel themselves to be subhuman, and monsters are outwardly subhuman. But this confuses the issue somewhat, so the only place you will hear about that is here and if you ask me in person.
The important thing is that depression changes the way you think and view the world.
The style is, as I said, medieval woodcut. I think it would be better if they were prints, (not woodcuts, though, i do have a life now) but i do not know how, so for now, they are just pen on paper.
And if some people think that i shouldn't talk about projects in progress. why not? it is not the concept that is hard-but the execution. so if someone else is inspired by what i am doing, feel free to make something similar. I think ideas should be free-but the work involved in making them real is not.