Thursday, November 6, 2008

I want to tell you something important. . . .

I want to tell you something important
Last night I dreamed of you
I dreamt that you gunned down twelve police officers
in a spray of anger and hate
because you couldn't live anymore.
You hated the world for what it had done to you.
You hated civilization
You hated what I had done to you.

I was the one at fault.

But I had to try to defend you against the town, against the state
I had to testify that you would not do that sort of thing
while I doubted.
While I lied.

After I told you all of this on the phone.
You just laughed.

But I am still terrified.

I didn't stop loving you, you know.
I just. . . .
I don't know why I did those things.
I was afraid.
and I blamed you.

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